ColdFusion Muse

Why Off Topic Posts About Off Topic Posts Should Be Avoided

I admit to a silly vice. I like watching the delightfully inane britcom "The Vicar of Dibley" on PBS. I'd guess that some of my UK friends probably view this as lowbrow and uninformed of me - like someone from Europe thinking that Denny's represents all American Cuisine (the French probably make that mistake all the time - but I digress). Be that as it may, I find the show to be wonderfully absurd and I suppose the high toned british accents make it seem far more sophisticated than it is.

In an episode I saw yesterday the completely witless Alice, a pretty young thing with a brain the size of a walnut, made the following statement:

This rather dizzying array of logic reminds me of a recent episode on one of the many email lists to which I subscribe. It's actually a routine repeated over and over again every few weeks. Someone will offer an off topic (OT) post. Usually OT posts are greeted with general tolerance and answered. People ask all kinds of things because they know the list is populated with people doing similar tasks that have likely faced some of the same challenges. So, for example, when you want to know the best choice for an entry level mail server, your fellow developers are more than happy to step up to the plate and provide some helpful advice.

The problem occurs when someone asks a question that touches on a "hotspot". No I'm not talking about a Java compiler, I'm talking about one of the various net religions that people feel so strongly about. Just like in the real world there are some major religions and a host of minor followings of this guru or that. Most of the major religions form camps based on a love for a particular technology and a perceived common enemy. For example:

• Java Vs. .NET
• Apple Vs. Microsoft
• PHP Vs ... well everyone I guess
• Linux Vs. Anyone not thinking that Linus is a God (Torvalds - not the kid with the blankey)

Make a comment or ask a question about any one of these well-worn positions and you will get a barrage of responses - guaranteed. I should mention that it is not "PC" to say anything favorable about Microsoft (savor the irony). Using MS products is rather like masturbation - no one is ready to give it up, but let's just not talk about it in polite company.

Anyway, what usually happens is that someone will ask an innocent question about ".NET vs. Coldfusion" or "the best IDE" and the nonsense will begin. The list will balloon into twice the normal volume of messages most of them the equivalent of "did not" and "did so" or "is not" and "is so".

When the level of ire and volume of messages reaches critical mass long time members will subtly began making hints that the conversation should take place elsewhere. They will say things like, "Folks, I think this conversation should take place elsewhere" and "Why don't you take this conversation somewhere else." Of course, rather than having the desired effect, this generally just increases the volume of mail on that particular topic.

Today on one list, someone asked the loaded question, "What constitutes off topic". Clearly this was an off topic question, but it sparked the usual fire storm of the purists who don't want to list to be a "friendly community" and see it only as a technical resource against the "burning man crowd" who believe that anarchy will lead to peace and harmony (and presumably nudity).

After some time this led to the absurd situation of folks complaining that the off topic post thread regarding off topic posts were clearly off topic and should move off list. Some other folks pointed out that these posts complaining about the off topic posts thread regarding off topic posts that were off topic were themselves off topic and therefore feeding the off topic off topic post frenzy. It was at this point that I thought of Alice and her butter problem. At least Alice has an excuse - she's written to be brainless.