ColdFusion Muse

Spell Check Serendeputy

Mark Kruger January 14, 2011 2:43 PM Humor and Life Comments (8)

What was the world like before Spell check? Well for one thing we didn't exchange thousands of written words per day. After all you don't need spell check to talk on the phone. Although after listening to a few recent conversations at the DMV I'd say some of you need one of those little seven second delay "beep" buttons. Still without spell check I suspect email, texts and blogging would be much worse (and they are pretty bad now). Spell checkers correct many egreegious...egrigious...egriugies... many obvious and glaring errors. But sometimes they have a way of intercepting our thoughts and turning them into something else entirely.

I once wrote a paper for publication that referenced the practice of astral-projection. Don't worry - it wasn't a tech post. I finished the copy and prepared to send it to the editor. As I was reading through it I realized that I must have misspelled astral - maybe added an "h" to it or something. My paper now described the practice of ashtray-projection.

Recently my sales director sent a note to a customer checking in to see if they had any upcoming projects. The customer replied "We will defiantly keep you in mind." Now that's the sort of customer I love! They are going to use us no matter what anyone says dang it!

It gets better. When I'm texting spell check is its own worst enemy. My current phone (a blackberry Storm) tries to help me, first by guessing the letter I might have meant on the touch screen and then by suggesting and pre-filling words for me based on its guess. It also apparently stores words from previous messages as ok. At least that's what I think is happening. Every time I use the word "today" it comes out "toady". My wife takes offense at that ("Hey... what are you doing toady?").

As the main target for much of my texting my wife gets to laugh at me on a daily basis - not that she needs texts messages to do that. As a typical husband I'm sure I provide copious ammunition. But to sample her daily dose.... she asked what I wanted for supper one time and I told her burgers on the groin would be nice. I once told her I was on my way to "homeless depot". I was making a pie and she was at the store getting supplies. I asked, "did you remember the alamos?" I meant almonds but the mistake was quite serendipitous. I could imagine her at the grocery store with one hand on her heart and the other scratching her head in puzzlement.

Sometimes when I try to correct my text misspellings I get into even more trouble. Recently, after indicating that I thought someone was a "really nice gay" (not that there's anything wrong with that) I told him I was sorry, I meant "guy" and I blamed it on my "cat fingers". Since then I've had the inexorable craving to lick myself and spit up in the corner - not necessarily in that order, but still.

So hears too awl yew spell czek funsters out their. Lets hope the next decayed brings us a spell checker that can reed mines as well.

  • Share:


  • Alycen's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Alycen | 1/14/11 3:05 PM

    NSFW, but really really funny
  • Alycen's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Alycen | 1/14/11 3:06 PM
    oh, and don't forget how close the G and T keys are on your keyboard when attempting to sign your business emails "Best Regards".

    I don't use one that anymore because my fingers cannot be trusted, apparently.
  • Phillip Senn's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Phillip Senn | 1/14/11 3:20 PM
    My students send stuff to me from their blackberry's all the time.
    The spelling is horrendous.
    I've particularly noted the lack of capitalization any longer.
  • Mark Kruger's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Mark Kruger | 1/14/11 3:49 PM

    i've noticed that as well - especially from the east coast - states like north carolina, florida, delaware, new jersey... and folks who work for ibm and adp. :)
  • Jason of Troy's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Jason of Troy | 1/15/11 6:53 PM
    Blind Type is pretty amazing ... I saw this as a something that others predicted Google would buy - make sure you watch the video. Either lots of smoke and mirrors or some fairly intense algorithms going on.
  • Matt Quackenbush's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Matt Quackenbush | 1/17/11 6:59 PM
    And this is why the very first thing I turn off on phones or IM clients is auto-correct. :-)
  • Anna Marie's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Anna Marie | 1/18/11 7:13 PM
    You are funny! And I totally agree... thanks for letting me know about your post. I got a kick out of it! :)
  • Kelly's Gravatar
    Posted By
    Kelly | 1/19/11 10:52 PM
    LOL great post! I can relate to the cell phone spell checker. I have to re-read my posts before I send because it's always replacing my correctly spelled words with a better suggestion.